Hallowhat?

Alas, even on Halloween, I elect to be alone.  As you may notice, I’ve been a bit stressed lately, and yesterday I had (another) burnout day.  These days begin and end with an apathetic, humourless Nicole.  Admittedly, there were moments I laughed, so it wasn’t a complete failure.

But, I had decided the night before that I wanted to see a movie Halloween night.  So I asked some people if they would be interested in accompanying me.  They acquiesced reluctantly.

The situation regarding the Academic Decathlon team has been weighing heavily on my mind.  There are a couple of individuals (let’s refer to them as A_ and B_) who are doing very well, and have a good chance at making the team.  I, along with the two other candidates (C_ and D_) competing for the three C-student spots, find this unsettling, because we do not like them.  We do not want to like them.  We don’t want to get to know them.  We don’t want to give them a chance.  And we are not the slightest bit sorry.

But I have to ask myself: Do I dislike A_ and B_ more than I want to make the team?  The other two answered without hesitation, but they don’t want to make the team as badly as I do.  I had begun the year in confidence, because I was nearly positive B_ wouldn’t make it, and that we could oust A_.  Yes, we’re saboteurs.  Still not feeling sorry.

Thursday afternoon C_ proclaims that he no longer wants to try.  There seems to be a lot of discouragement amongst the candidates, myself included especially after the disaster that was the first mini-meet.  I’m desperate and pathetic and beg him not to give up.  Ultimately, it’s his choice and it’s not my place to try and influence his decision.  I do feel sorry, and I told him so.

I skipped AcDec yesterday, and felt even more discouraged from everything.  School, orchestra, AcDec, college, future.  I suppose this is normal for any high school senior.  But, ultimately I decide that I’m going to see the movie.  So I call up one of the people I invited with me, and said to her “You guys don’t need to come see the movie with me.  I know that you aren’t really familiar with it anyway.  Thanks, though.”  She didn’t sound sorry over the phone.

But, there’s nothing like a good movie to cheer me up.  I enjoyed it very much and couldn’t stop smiling after the credits rolled.

I’m looking at the saved posts I have yet to write.  I’m really behind.