My goal is to have these done by the end of the year, however irrelevant they may be.  Goddamnit.  This is poop.  Most of them are reviews.

• Half-Nelson (movie review)
• Rocket Science (movie review)
• iPod Nano 4G (tech review)
• RocknRolla (movie review)
• UROBOROS (album review)
• A little piece for the locals on what to refer the three high schools as.

And soon, I’ll be writing a concert review for the Dir en grey show on the 26th.  I need to stop procrastinating.  Speaking of which, I need to start my homework tonight.

AP Physics C is not easy.

But, I had decided the night before that I wanted to see a movie Halloween night.  So I asked some people if they would be interested in accompanying me.  They acquiesced reluctantly.

The situation regarding the Academic Decathlon team has been weighing heavily on my mind.  There are a couple of individuals (let’s refer to them as A_ and B_) who are doing very well, and have a good chance at making the team.  I, along with the two other candidates (C_ and D_) competing for the three C-student spots, find this unsettling, because we do not like them.  We do not want to like them.  We don’t want to get to know them.  We don’t want to give them a chance.  And we are not the slightest bit sorry.

But I have to ask myself: Do I dislike A_ and B_ more than I want to make the team?  The other two answered without hesitation, but they don’t want to make the team as badly as I do.  I had begun the year in confidence, because I was nearly positive B_ wouldn’t make it, and that we could oust A_.  Yes, we’re saboteurs.  Still not feeling sorry.

Thursday afternoon C_ proclaims that he no longer wants to try.  There seems to be a lot of discouragement amongst the candidates, myself included especially after the disaster that was the first mini-meet.  I’m desperate and pathetic and beg him not to give up.  Ultimately, it’s his choice and it’s not my place to try and influence his decision.  I do feel sorry, and I told him so.

I skipped AcDec yesterday, and felt even more discouraged from everything.  School, orchestra, AcDec, college, future.  I suppose this is normal for any high school senior.  But, ultimately I decide that I’m going to see the movie.  So I call up one of the people I invited with me, and said to her “You guys don’t need to come see the movie with me.  I know that you aren’t really familiar with it anyway.  Thanks, though.”  She didn’t sound sorry over the phone.

But, there’s nothing like a good movie to cheer me up.  I enjoyed it very much and couldn’t stop smiling after the credits rolled.

I’m looking at the saved posts I have yet to write.  I’m really behind.

Just yesterday I was thinking about how cute Walt Whitman was (as I mentioned in the previous post), and even though I didn’t mention it, I was thinking about Pablo Neruda, as well, and Veinte Poemas de Amor y Una Canción Desesperada.  And today during the AcDec tests, the language and literature test referred to both poets as well as the aforementioned collection.

Ah, I knew it would be on DamnInteresting.com.  Though what I’m thinking about doesn’t fit the exact description, it’s something akin to the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon.

Another example is concerning the subject of my prepared speech for AcDec.  It is about uninsured Americans receiving health care and hospital services at no cost, and abusing this fact.  After I had written the speech, it seemed like I heard about it everywhere.  And not just in things concerning the upcoming election.  My physics teacher mentioned it, the economics teacher mentioned it, the other day Mr. Borowicz said he heard a discussion on talk radio that dealed specifically with my topic.

Perhaps it’s my imagination.  Recency effect.  Because it’s been on my mind, whenever I hear something about it I pay more attention than usual.

But, there was no school today so I spent all of today doing nothing academic.  Except studying physics a little bit (because I’m beyond lost in that class…).  Though, I know I should have practiced and studied for tomorrow’s mini-meet and audition.

I sort of snapped yesterday.  I was easily irritable, and apparently someone else was having a bad day.  I tried to cheer her up, but she wouldn’t have it and I reacted badly.  But it’s alright.

The Academic Decathlon mini-meet was nerve-racking.  I had my speech memorized.  Sort of.  But I felt ready enough to struggle through the entire thing.  Definitely not what happened.

Instead, the first couple paragraphs were basically a breeze - a few minor hiccups, but no big deal.  Then things started to get fuzzy.  I knew I skipped a couple sentences, but I pushed on.  But when one of the judges held up the 1-minute card, I stopped mid-sentence and froze.

So, for the entire last minute, I was silent.  I opened my mouth to speak, promptly closing it when I realized I didn’t know what to say.  He held up the 1/2-minute card.  I deflated; my shoulders dropped and I let my arms hang to the side.  Then I started to count down from 30.

They looked unsympathetic, a bit miffed, and I was eager to leave.  I tried to shake their hands again, but the older judge said, “No, no, no, we’re not done yet.”  Fuck.  There’s more?

Oh, the impromptu.  Fuckshit.

The first impromptu option had the word “congress” in it.  No, not that.  The next one?  I could handle, with difficulty.

And for the longest 90 seconds in my life, I bullshat with a shaky voice and apologetic eyes.

Before I left the room:  “I apologize.”

Luckily, the interview was much easier.  Laugh at their dumb jokes, smile, act convincingly phony and lie out my ass.  They ate that up.  Excellent.  “Oh, yes, my hobbies are knitting, reading and playing music.”

Okay, so that wasn’t too much of a stretch.

I haven’t been getting enough sleep.  I didn’t sleep at all Monday or Tuesday night.  I should be sleeping now.  I have to rise early for the second half of the AcDec mini-meet tomorrow morning at 8am.  And go to All-Region auditions.  Not going to make it to Ivy rehearsal; the last one before the concert next Saturday.

Next Saturday, right after my ACT test.  Of course, first I need to worry about passing the physics momentum test Monday, completing the theory worksheets for honors orchestra Monday, completing the bio labs by Friday, reading The Aeneid through book 7 by Monday (maybe), editing and finalizing the CalTech essay by Monday for class, the calculus test on Thursday, the full orchestra rehearsal on Tuesday as we gear up for TMEA Honor Orchestra (with Wagner, Rimsky-Korsakov, and the Irish Suite), and completing unit 3 of economics by Thursday.  And whatever bullshit the AP English teachers feel like making us do.

I felt like I deserved a break today, but that was a really bad idea.

On a lighter note, I have managed to get to school early every day this week.  I like leaving early in the morning, before the street lights go out.  Not sleeping contributed to my ability to get ready for school by 7am.

When I don’t get enough sleep, I can’t put a filter on my mouth, and I say very racist things.  When I mentioned this on Friday, Wes thought I was literally trying to put a coffee filter on my face.

My room looks like Hell.

Breakfast.  No.  More like jumping cliffs.  I really admire Walt Whitman and his homosexuality.  Have you ever read poem 56 from Leaves of Grass?  “We Two Boys Together Clinging.”  That shit’s so cute.

This happened towards the end of 2nd lunch.  Unfortunately, I didn’t get to see it happen, but I started walking to back to class when I noticed a shit lot of people scrambling towards the grassy knoll in A parking lot.  I stared at the crowd a little, and asked Jennifer, “What’s going on?”

“I don’t know, man, what happened?”

“Oh…oh shit!  The car’s butt isn’t supposed to be that high!”

“What?  Holy shit!” And she scrambled off to get a better look.  News travelled really fast, and as I continued forth, it’s all people talked about.  By the end of the minute it took me to get to my English class, it’s the only thing we talked about.

As it turns out, it was some white girl who turned into the parking lot too fast and tried to turn the wheel the other way, but overcompensated.  It still doesn’t make sense to me, though.

Normally, I would feel bad, but apparently afterward she just giggled and said, “Ha, that was me!” and posed for pictures with the car.

Really?  What a dumbass.  $15 says she was high.

I usually see her driving behind me on my way to school in the morning.  Guess I won’t, anymore.

Edit:
Word is, she was texting at the same time.  Rumoured to have been high.  No surprise. (Oct. 05)